The Next One Is for Real

I missed Friday, my normal writing day, because I was not capable of writing. I was not capable of stringing two coherent thoughts together. I had a feeling when the doctor wanted to double the dosage of the previous drug trial, the one that worked just fine, thank you very much, that there was going to be a problem, and man! Did I ever hit the nail on the head! When my blood pressure hit 90/63 and I could not stay awake, it was time to quit. The trial did stop the pain, but it stopped everything else as well! I am willing to suffer a little in exchange for thinking!!

So the next drug trial is for real. Another tree died for my sake, as I travelled to Grants Pass today to fill out another ream or so of paperwork. The whole experience is gaining reality now, and while I am a tiny bit nervous, I am not anxious. I learned long ago, when I was climbing the walls in anticipation of another surgery, that everything will happen exactly as it is supposed to happen and all will be well. If I believe in turning my will and life over to the care of God, then I believe that God will take care of me now and in the future. I just want to get it done so I can get on with rehab and get on with my life!

I want to do three things after my knee is fixed: I want to go walking in the redwoods, on any trail I choose, not just the flat accessible ones; I want to play nine holes of golf at the little course where Zach and I play and not be hobbling when I finish; I want to take my dog to the beach and walk with her---right now the unevenness of the sand is just too painful. Course, I am also thinking about learning to cross-country ski next winter, but I will have to bounce that one off the doctor first! In short, I used to be very into physical activity, and I want to go there again. I don't think that is asking too much!