I had a conversation with a friend the other day that turned to the subject of fear. As our conversation progressed, I came to the realization that all of my fear is firmly based in the future! Try as I might, I cannot think of anything happening right now that causes me fear; it is all about what might be. Even if there is a rattlesnake coiled in the middle of my living room floor, I am only afraid that it MIGHT strike; if it strikes, I am then afraid that I MIGHT die. So when I am afraid about bills or the weather or whether or not someone likes me, those fears are based in a time other than right now. In the twelve step recovery program, people are taught to stay in the now, to quit worrying about the future or regretting the past. Jesus reminded those who followed him to worry about today and let tomorrow's worries take care of themselves.
So then I thought some more: Can I profess to be a person of faith and be afraid at the same time? That is a tough question, because in a perfect world, fear and faith cannot live in the same person at the same time. If I trust that all will be well, how can I be afraid? If I truly trust that God will take care of me, how can I worry about what will happen in the next hour, day, week, month?
What saves me is that I do not live in a perfect world. I forget and when I forget, I become afraid. The good news is that I don't forget as often as I used to. Prayer and meditation have become a habit rather than a bandaid for emergencies, and I have discovered that regular prayer and meditation feed my faith, banishing fear to the dark corners. Fear is not gone; but it is weakened in the sunlight of faith, and for that I am very grateful!
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