Veterans Day Once Again

Veteran's Day 2009
For some reason, this year is the year that I have broken through my disinterest at being a veteran. For many years, I have chosen to separate myself from that part of my life, living with a sense of "why bother." I was in the military service from 1974-1984--three years on active duty and seven more in the active reserve. The so-called "Vietnam Era" ended about three weeks before I enlisted, so most of the men with whom I worked had been to Vietnam. Their anger became my anger, and when we were told that it was still not safe to wear the uniform in public, I felt the same dishonor. When I was called "baby killer" in an airport, I felt the same rage! I was too young to realize that the name calling people were just stupid because women in the combat zones in those days were the so-called "noncombatants"; we were only just beginning to be trained to kill even as we were dying there.

Thirty years later, I am beginning to feel gratitude for the privilege of serving in the military. This is a great country and I am proud to have served it. I still do not like war---I figured that out during a training exercise in 1976 or so while lying in three or four inches of water in a simulated rice paddy while they fired live machine gun rounds over our heads---but I value the time spent in uniform. I feel like that time somehow gives me some ownership over the place I live.

My dad was in World War II, also a non-combatant. He fixed the airplanes which helped bring the war with Japan to its conclusion. Most of his friends did not know he was in the service until his obituary was printed in the paper. He was also very upset when I made the decision to enlist. I wonder if he felt the same way I did, because he was a man of peace. I wonder if his disinterest had to do with his reluctant acceptance of the need for an army. I wish I could ask him that question.

So today I will accept that part of my life. I will not become a raging patriot because those folks scare me, but I can carry in my soul the realization that I did my job for my country, and I did it to the best of my ability at a very tough time in our nation's history. That is enough.